Category: American Culture

American Culture

2020 is Still Our Year – Coronavirus Can’t Win

Esther Tokognon

2020 is still Our year! We can’t let COVID-19 win. Most of us had different plans for this year. In fact most of us were planning on “making it big” in various aspects of our lives. Some of us were even planning a wedding … what were we thinking?? 

2020 is still our year even if it isn’t exactly going as we planned.

I bet none of us ever thought we would be doing virtual happy hours someday. God knows that never crossed my mind before! As I wrapped up week 5 of lockdown, I realize how much this pandemic has changed the world. We are all affected in some way, but some definitely more than others.

At this exact moment, someone nearby is mourning the loss of a loved one due to this awful virus. Right now, someone we know lost their job and is struggling make ends meet. Those of us that are blessed enough to still have our jobs and extra blessed to work from home are having to multitask at its finest. So many people are currently juggling being an employee, a parent, a teacher – all at the same time.

Oh and single parents… how can one do it all? May the Lord give you all the strength to go through this tough time.

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My heart goes out to everyone. I want to thank those that are out there everyday saving lives, and those that are risking their lives to provide us with necessities such as food and groceries. Special kudos to all the delivery drivers that allow us to stay safe inside while they deliver whatever we order. Be kind to them and if you can, please tip them extra. As mentioned in one of my previous articles, tips are a big part of the American culture.  

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The beauty in this… In the midst of all this chaos, I realized that humans are very adaptable and constantly adapting. As Charles Darwin once said, “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.” As human beings, we are constantly adapting to new things, new social and political environments, new jobs, new financial times…etc. that were often unpredictable. Although we are going through a big change in the world, let’s remind ourselves that we can do it – we have been doing it. 2020 is still our year!

One day at a time!  

Adaptability doesn’t happen overnight for most people.  

Change can happen overnight and most humans are able to adapt. However, adapting to something new doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a constant process. It’s OK for certain things to not be the way they used to be while we try to figure all this out. As we try to develop and master a new routine, let’s keep in mind that occasional frustration is ok; a decrease in productivity is ok; a few extra pounds is more than ok 😁🙃. Please remember that just because people are posting about their home projects, and you don’t have any doesn’t mean that you are behind. Take your time to master your own routine and invest time in what matters the most to you! 2020 is still our year!

Most habits don’t form overnight.  

And to all international students graduating in May, please remember to apply for your OPT as soon as possible. More information can be found here.

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American Culture

Where Is Home When You Live Abroad?

Esther Tokognon
Vacation, Home away from home, Live abroad

So where is home? ... If I had a dollar for every time I get asked that question, I would be cruising in my Tesla right now! 

It’s a logical question that most people ask to understand one’s origins – especially for us non-native English speakers. However, this question can sometimes trigger way more emotions than it’s intended. For some people, it’s a constant reminder that they are away from their families. 

Personally, I have always viewed the question as an opportunity to educate people about my country and its culture. So, the answer to that question always came very naturally to me. I was always quick and eager to answer “Benin”. Benin is my motherland – where I was born and raised, and where my family still resides. I lived there for several years before moving to the United States in 2011.  

Recently, while talking to my friend (who is also living abroad) about some of the challenges that foreigners face while living in a country different than their own, a common theme was the notion of Home. I realized that although I have become very accustomed to the United States norms, culture and traditions, my coworkers might say otherwise ;). The reality for people like us is that regardless of how great we hold on to our native culture, or how well we learn about the culture and traditions of the countries we live in, we are still foreign to both worlds. In my situation, I became too Americanized for a lot of Beninese nationals, yet not Americanized enough for my dearly loved Americans. This has been so well written by Ijeoma Umebinyuo in the Diaspora Blues 

“So, here you are 
too foreign for home 
too foreign for here. 
Never enough for both.” 
– Ijeoma Umebinyuo, Diaspora Blues 

So why I am writing about this? 

Home can have different significances for different people. I realized that home for me, was more than just where I was born or where my family resides. Don’t get me wrong, being from Benin is perhaps the most amazing things that happened to me. It shaped me into who I am today and unleashed me with the knowledge and strengths necessary to thrive!  

Home to me is where I have that sense of community, it’s where I’m the most comfortable to be myself, and where my heart is the most filled with happiness. To everyone trying to find their perfect answer to “where is home?”, I leave you with this beautiful saying of Warsan Shire –  

 “At the end of the day, it isn’t where I came from. Maybe home is somewhere I’m going and never have been before.”  

Your mind is powerful and the perfect mindset will help you make the most out of your journey and achieve greatness! 

Click here to learn more about the author 

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American Culture

Tips For Eating Out In America

Esther Tokognon

God bless America, its awesomeness and weird norms!

I wasn’t a fan of American food when I first moved here in 2011. Back then, I called American food anything that was offered at the cafeteria. Although some international and exchange students had no problem with the food, I belonged to the other part that hated it. However, I’ve learned over the years, that American food was more than the food offered at the school cafeteria. Through home-cooked meals offered by American friends and going out to eat at restaurants, I have come to love American food. My ultimate favorite: Kansas City-style barbecue.

When I started going to restaurants, I was very surprised by some of the practices. Although I knew that Americans like to do things differently from rest of the world, I never thought the restaurant etiquette will be different. Below are things that you should know before eating out in America:

Big crazy portions

Be prepared to be stuffed, unless you are going to a fine dining restaurant. American restaurant portions are enormous. However, it wasn’t always the case.  After World War II, the U.S. reformed its agricultural policies and farmers were able to grow food more cheaply. Over time, companies have increased their serving sizes to increase their profits. The below infographic from Yourweightmatters.org (YWM) shows how some American food has changed over the years.

This means you can have more food for what you are paying. I was all about that. Since the portions are very large, I could easily have 2 to 3 meals out of them.

To-go boxes for leftovers

Most restaurants have boxes that you can use to take your leftovers home, since their portions are so large. Do not be shy to ask for one! The worst you could do is to try to eat all that food even though you are full. This is especially important because American food contains a lot of fat and carbs, which means a lot more calories. 

As you may have heard most exchange students and international students gain a lot of weight after moving the U.S. Years from now, you will be glad you made the right decisions by not overeating and saving money.

Tips Tips Tips

Tipping means that you give someone – in this case the waiter/waitress a sum of money as a way of rewarding them for their services. Tips go anywhere from 10-20% of your total bill. Why do I have to pay someone to do their own job? Oh wait, Americans like to do things differently. But this is because most restaurant workers don’t get paid very much and rely on the tips to make a living wage. Why can’t restaurant workers be paid a salary like the rest of the world? Again, Americans like to do things their own way, and this isn’t up for debate. This was very shocking to me when I started going to restaurants, but since I lived here now, I had to start following their norms, and you should too! I wrote about American norms that you must here.

A less private dining experience

In the U.S. the customer is king. Companies want to make sure that their customers are satisfied, same goes for restaurants. Restaurant workers are trained to ensure that every customer is satisfied, and since tipping is so important, the waiters/waitresses try to go the extra mile to get a bigger tip. Due to that reason, they will come multiple time by your table to ensure you don’t need anything. This takes away some the privacy you may be used to in your home country, but feel free to tell them (in a nice way) if you don’t want them to come checking often.

Now that you know these few American restaurants norms, go enjoy the food! Share more tips for eating out in America in the comment section.


American Culture

Black Friday

Esther Tokognon

I’m sure you have already heard of this totally CRAZY, yet super AWESOME American holiday – Black Friday! But for those of you who haven’t, Black Friday is observed every year the day after Thanksgiving – a national holiday celebrated in the United States on the fourth Thursday of November. Click here to read my article on the history and present-day significance of Thanksgiving.

Black Friday marks the beginning of the Christmas shopping season as it it the day after the last major holiday. Over the years, Black Friday has become very popular and is loved by consumers as many stores run deals and promotions to attract them. Last year, U.S. retailers earned over $7.9 billion that day, an increase of approximately 18% from the previous year

So why should you care about this holiday and how to get the best Black Friday deals?

As a student with a small budget, you need all the discounts you can get. In order to ensure that you are getting the best deals, I suggest you first decide on the item(s) you really would like to buy in advance then check what store has them. It’s important that you do your research, and compare prices before deciding to buy something.

Use pricegrabber – an online price comparison shopping tool to compare product prices. . Check the price progression over a certain period of time to ensure that you are truly getting a good deal. Some retailers increase the price of an article before Black Friday, then drop it back to its initial price on Black Friday. I have experienced this myself. However this doesn’t mean that there aren’t true Black Friday deals. The average Black Friday discount has been around 45% in recent years. Another reason why you should care about this holiday is that it’s become an American tradition that everyone should experience at least once.

Where to find Black Friday deals?

Almost every big store will have some sort of Black Friday deal. Use this website to check out the Black Friday deals available from local and online retailers. You can also directly go to the stores’ websites to view their holiday deals. I personally find Amazon and Kohl’s to have some of the best deals. Most Black Friday items will be available to purchase online and in-store. If you decide to shop in-store, be prepared for the chaos!

Have fun shopping!

American Culture

Thanksgiving

Esther Tokognon

If you have just moved to the United States, you probably haven’t had the opportunity to celebrate Thanksgiving. The United States along with other countries such as Canada, Liberia, and some of the Caribbean islands celebrate this holiday,but on different dates. The United States celebrates Thanksgiving on the fourth Thursday of November. 

The history of Thanksgiving

Traditionally, Thanksgiving was a day where people got to celebrate the harvest and blessings of the previous year. The very first Thanksgiving celebration dates from October 1621 after the Pilgrims first successful harvest season at the Plymouth Plantation. At that time, this celebration lasted 3 days. However, it wasn’t until the American Civil War in 1863 that Thanksgiving became a national Holiday dedicated to giving thanks and praising God. 

Some Thanksgiving traditions are still present. Certain foods that were traditionally prepared during that time, especially turkey, is still very popular. This is why you will hear people refer to this holiday as Turkey Day. Based on my experience in the United States, Thanksgiving is the country’s most “family focused” holiday.  Having a family is a blessing and having everyone together on that day is even a bigger blessing. This is why Thanksgiving week is one of the busiest travel holidays of the year with over 50 million people traveling around the country to celebrate with loved ones. 

The fact that Thanksgiving is such a family centered holiday is very hard for international students and those who are away from their families and cannot fly back home to celebrate. I was alone on most Thanksgiving Days but didn’t feel sad because this wasn’t a holiday that we celebrated in Benin. It could be a different experience for you! Especially if you are from one of those countries that celebrate this holiday. This article has awesome tips on how to prevent homesickness during the holidays. Although I didn’t always celebrate Thanksgiving, there were years where I was blessed to join people and celebrate with them.  

Here is what to expect at a Thanksgiving Dinner based on my experience: 

Be ready to be stuffed

Be ready to eat a LOT. Most Thanksgiving meals will include: Turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy, stuffing, sweet corn, fall vegetables, pies, cranberry sauce, cornbread and green bean casserole (my favorite). Depending on what part of the country you reside in, certain items from this list may vary, but shouldn’t differ too much.  

Be ready for great table conversation

When family and friends gather, great conversations flow! Be ready to participate. This often is the occasion for the people you are celebrating with to get to know you better and for you to get to know them as well. Any questions you have about the food or about Thanksgiving traditions will be great ways to join in the conversation, don’t be shy! 

Food coma will most likely hit you

After all the eating and fun conversation comes the part where you feel very sleepy. This happened to me after every Thanksgiving meal. One time it was so bad that I asked the host if I could nap and she nicely offer me the guest room. I probably ate too much!

Feel Blessed

I always felt very blessed to have been spending the holiday with people. Don’t forget to thank them. However you can still enjoy the holiday even if you didn’t receive any dinner invite. Most universities host a Thanksgiving dinner for international students. Some schools will do it at the school cafeteria and others will do it in a different location. In case your school isn’t hosting a dinner, you could plan with other international students. If you put money together, you can order a thanksgiving meal from your local grocery store.  

If you aren’t feeling so festive, it’s totally ok, just enjoy the extra days off. 

American Culture

Tips to Prevent Homesickness during the Holidays

Esther Tokognon

You’re a long way from home. The holidays are coming up. Flights are too expensive for you to go back home. It’s totally normal to feel homesick. My first holiday away from home felt the same. It was the hardest part of living abroad. However, as the years went by and I’ve adjusted more to this country, I’ve developed some strategies to cope with my homesickness. Below are some tips that helped me over the years that I think might help. Follow these tips to prevent homesickness during the holidays.

Adopt a positive attitude

If you are here reading about how to cope with homesickness during the holidays, it means that you want to feel better and actually enjoy the holidays. Congrats, you are one step closer to making this a great holiday! Having a positive attitude starts by accepting your current reality; the fact that you are far away from home and you will miss several family events. Although no one tells us, this is what we signed-up for when we decided to move to a different country. You can also build a positive attitude by thinking about your goals and the reasons why you decided to study in America. Adopting a positive attitude is essential.

Celebrate with your host family

If you have host family, spend the holidays with them whether it’s Thanksgiving or other American holidays. One of the main benefit of having a host family is to help you adjust in the country and experience something different. They want you to feel at home. Accepting that you now have a new family is very important. Spending the holidays with a host family is a great way to learn more about American culture and new traditions. If you currently do not have a host family and would like to have one, reach out to your International Student Advisor.

Surround yourself with people

If you do not have a host family and do not want to be alone during the holidays, find people with whom you can celebrate these festivities. These could be friends and their families, significant others, roommates, neighbors, co-workers, people you know from church…etc. It’s also perfectly understandable to want to surround yourself with people with similar culture as you. If you find yourself in this situation, then coming together to celebrate by cooking traditional meals and performing traditional holiday rituals might be a good option.

Make time to talk with your own family

Technology makes reaching out to people very easy. Use either Skype, Whatsapp or any video call tool that is available in your home country to video chat with your family. I recommend you call them first before starting any festivities with your friends or host family as I found that I didn’t enjoy the celebrations until I talked to my family. I automatically felt better after talking to them, as I was no longer asking myself what they were up to. Get that out of the way first, then have fun.

Find ways to stay busy

Whether it’s traveling to places you have never being before or trying to master a hobby that you just picked up, finding ways to keep yourself busy will distract you from being sad. I have happily spent several holidays by myself without feeling all the sadness and loneliness that use to come with it.

Follow these tips to prevent homesickness and enjoy the holidays!

American Culture

Brace yourself, Halloween is around the corner!

Esther Tokognon

For many of you, this Halloween will be your first American holiday experience!

You might be wondering where the tradition came from. Halloween evolved from an ancient Irish holiday that marked the end of summer and the harvest season. When the Irish immigrated to America during the Great Famine in the 1800’s, they brought the holiday with them. They would go door-to-door asking for food and gifts and offer to pray for the dead. 

The modern-day definition of Halloween is very different than what it used to be. Now Halloween is celebrated each year on October 31st, and consists of fun activities and events including dressing up in costumes, trick-or-treating, carving pumpkins and watching scary movies.

 It’s an opportunity for people to go out with their friends, meet their neighbors and interact with people. One of my favorite parts of Halloween is that there is no dress code; you can really let your creativity shine. It’s also a way to teach children about giving and receiving. Halloween is a great opportunity for people of all ages to come together, celebrate and have fun! 

The first Halloween experience of my life was during my Freshman year. Our dorm was transformed into a Haunted House, and each floor had its own spooky theme. It was the first time I truly came out of my comfort zone since I moved to America and started making friends.

Almost every school has some sort of Halloween event, you just need to find out where it is and start socializing. And don’t worry if you can’t find a costume. Most people wear costumes, but wearing your normal clothes are perfectly fine too. The key is to have fun and be safe!

 Here is a quick guide to understanding some of the traditions of Halloween:

  • Costumes: Your costume is the first thing to think about after being invited to a Halloween party. Search the web to get some ideas. Personally, I use Pinterest to brainstorm costume ideas. Halloween costumes can be scary, funny, or just plain silly. A lot of people like to dress up as their favorite celebrity.

Where to buy costumes?:  Make your own! Be creative! You can even just buy a cheap white sheet from Walmart, cut out holes for your eyes and go as a ghost! There are so many options. Amazon, Walmart, Party City, Spirit Halloween all carry costumes that are affordable and ready to wear.

  • Trick-or-Treating: Trick-or-Treating is a Halloween tradition where kids go around their neighborhoods, knock on their neighbors doors and yell “Trick or Treat!”. The kid holds out a bag and the neighbor is expected to put a piece of candy inside. If you live in an area with a lot of kids, it might be a good idea to buy a bag of candy (make sure it is pre-packaged). Fun-size candy bars are a common choice, which can be found at most stores like Walmart. Putting a sign out to let kids know that trick-or-treaters are welcome is recommended too!
  • Scary movies: Watching movies is fun, watching scary movies is even better (unless you’re like me and get scared easily)!. There are tons of horror movies that you can find on Netflix or Prime TV. If you don’t have those paid online streaming services, then Youtube is your best friend.
  • Haunted houses: When I lived on campus, my dormitory was transformed into a haunted house each year for Halloween. Haunted Houses are buildings or houses that people set up and allow visitors to walk through. They are filled with creepy decorations and people in costumes that jump out and try their hardest to scare you. Some Haunted Houses are scarier than others, but be careful if you’re easily scared! 
  • Pumpkin Carving: Pumpkin carving is probably the least scary, but still fun halloween tradition. I was never good at pumpkin carving until my coworker told me about some cool templates I could download off the internet. Just print them off, buy a pumpkin from the grocery store, scoop out all the stuff inside the pumpkin, place the template over the pumpkin, and cut out the shapes. Here’s a website that has some really cool pumpkin carving ideas, as well as resources and tips on how to do them. They also have some free patterns that you can download and use. https://www.bhg.com/halloween/pumpkin-carving/pumpkin-carving-ideas/

There are probably a lot of halloween themed events happening around you, search the web and go have fun!